Don’t censor art in the name of culture, censor stupidity if you must

Some of you who follow me closely might be smart enough to point out that I do not live my life by social norms. I have this real useless thing I do called ‘thinking,’ and because of that I often like to form an opinion about things once in a while, especially when stupidity is involved. And a very reliable source (consisting of a group of morons who hate the concept of joy and freedom) notified me that because of this I am not a very good Bhutanese citizen.
Please read along as I enter the forbidden land of Bhutanese hypocrisy to piss off another group of people.

As many of you know, I make my living from the Film Industry. And as such, we have to live very much under the dictates of BICMA, an authority often referred to as ‘real life autocorrect’ by some.
Recently, in their quest to censor everything good from Bhutanese media, they have once again jumped in with their rod of chastening to censor kissing scenes from Bhutanese movies. (I didn’t know this was a thing until one of the films I was associated with was denied certificate unless they cut out the kissing scene.) Before I further my case, let me remind my audience that the scenes weren’t unshowable.

When asked to justify, their answer was that we have always been a conservative society and such are shameful, indecent and against our culture.

Now those of you who think a kissing scene in a film is obscene and against our culture, do you even know our culture? Do you know how salacious our traditions can be at times?
You can’t even enter a Bhutanese village with your family members because every possible place is filled with penises and phalluses. Penises protruding out of the door posts, penises hanging down from the roof. There are large wall paintings of penis fastened with silk ribbon, and for some reason strangled by a dragon. And people even wear miniature phalluses for a necklace as a sign of good luck.
There is the festival of naked dance where nude men flap their junk against their thighs, and the rest of the women watch them and clap.
And there is the widely celebrated tradition of night hunting, a culture that encourages non-consensual sex, rape, and teenage pregnancy.
And not to mention the tradition of Serga-Mathang, a glorified excuse to screw one’s cousins.
Go to any Tshechus and try coming back without being dry-humped from the back by some mannerless Atsaras.
Bhutanese worship Lam Drukpa Kuenley whose very philosophy of preaching Dharma was through (brace yourself ladies) the blessings of his gigantic johnson.

It is penises, sex, penises, and more penises; that is our whole culture. And you are telling me that we were culturally very conservative and shy society? Then you either don’t know our culture at all, or you are blind.

What makes our culture? The music, the literature, the paintings, the costumes. And what are they? Art. And art and culture are evolving every day. Culturally, we never wore underwears; now we do. (Although there are rumours that some senior officials at the Driglam Namzha commission still do not wear underwear in order to uphold our tradition of no-underwear.) We used to cook our food in a bamboo trunk; now we have rice cookers. My point is, things evolve for betterment without necessarily changing our identity.

I do appreciate your efforts to promote our national language and national dress; you keep an eye that our culture is upheld properly. And these are good things you do, but there are those things you do that do not make any sense in today’s modern society. We are already exposed to such things through televisions and western medias.

The change is flowing in like a flood. Globalization is inevitable. You can either move with the flow or get washed by it; either way, despite your approval, change is here to stay for good.

Does maternity leave matter if we leave?

Let us all agree, we as a society have given the least importance to our mothers. Expecting women to give life and in return leave her alone to battle for her life is a bit of an overkill. By supporting our mothers we are not just ensuring a better childcare, we are also securing a better, brighter and healthy next generation. Does it hurt giving birth? Of course, it hurts you imbecile, I have had shit that hurt.

Here is what happened when the Government proposed to increase maternity leave, it is as if when the issue of maternity leave was raised, someone from the opposition stood and asked, “wait, wait, whose mother are we talking about? Mine or everyone else’s?”
“The Radhi-Sagteng MP, Jigme Wangchuk, questioned the government on their pledge to extend maternity leave for working mothers…”
Because Radhi-Sagteng MP was born on a Lotus flower, fed by swans and raised by a deer. He grew up in the jungle, taught animal dharma while he traveled the forest on the back of a flying tiger.
Why is it hard for a man to understand this? Don’t we all have mothers? Don’t they have wives who give birth? Or sisters? A girlfriend? Common sense?
Because opposition’s job is to oppose? Even if someone passes a bill called “We should all eat food,” these guys will still come up with some screwed up bullshit about why we shouldn’t eat food. It’s like high school debate competition. We all know the shit we had to endure listening to the retards talk gibberish.

Sangay Khandu had a bit different opinion. “He said giving better job opportunities to women would be more effective than allowing extended maternity leave. He said the job securities of working mothers in private and the corporation should also be taken into account.” What better opportunities? His speech is euphemistic of a coach asking a footballer with a broken leg to come back for practice. “Look Chencho, I know you have a broken limb and probably smashed your right testicle beyond repair, but all I am saying is join back, and we will raise your salary.” What the hell coach? What the hell?
It’s almost like donating a kidney to a patient with piles. “Sure, Pema went in there for a colonoscopy to see if her rectum was doing fine, but thanks to generous MP, now she has three kidneys and unattended hemorrhoid.”
He was right about one thing, though; this will hamper the Job security of the mothers. Such regulations might put women’s livelihood at risk. Private agencies might not hire women at all.

Here is the state of it as of now:

Model Internal Service Rules of an Enterprise
–  “…shall be entitled to 3 months maternity leave on the production of a medical certificate…”
Yeah, because a bulging belly is apparently not enough. Although, they have a valid point here; most of the men in Bhutan have a big belly, they could as well, for instance, take advantage and apply for a maternity leave.
– “In an event of a miscarriage, a maximum leave of 4 weeks shall be granted on the production of a medical certificate from a recognized medical practitioner in Bhutan.” Four weeks? Just to be clear, you realize she just threw a baby out of her vagina right?

 Bhutan Civil Service Rules and Regulations 2010
– Three months leave with basic pay
– Mother with babies up to 12 months will get lunch time from 12 noon to 2 pm

Here is our suggestion:

– Leave should start at least two weeks before the due date.
– Maternity leaves for six months.
– One year of flexi-time.
– Two-hour lunch breaks for up to two years.

Not just the job-goers, women in the rural areas should also be looked into. When it comes to alimony, villagers are complete assholes. It is beyond my empathy that society has so long looked down on women. Failing to support women even with such necessities on the Government’s part legitimizes domestic violence, encourages patriarchy and upholds the sexist society that we have always been. Don’t act like you respect your mother if you for a fact fail to realize that she almost died to give you life; and as a result, fail to support her morally in these matters.

We are capable of empathy; we are capable of perceiving pain that’s why we don’t have to chop off our fingers to learn that it would hurt. This shouldn’t just be civil service rules; rather this should be a bill that will be eventually passed on as an Act. We’re not just talking about servicewomen; we’re talking about mothers in general.

I would like to apologize to all you mothers out there for being an asshole. Dear Bhutanese, let us not be the assholes our ancestors were. What better way to honor the women who brought you into this world than this? Please share, Facebook, tweet and write until we ensure the government does something about it.

Thimphu hates taxi drivers, taxi drivers hate RSTA

Thimphu hates taxi drivers, taxi drivers hate RSTA, RSTA hates everybody, and everybody hates RSTA. It's the circle of hate. Okay, first the speed breakers that had us gnashing our teeth, and when we had just begun to make peace with the speed … [Continue reading]

Bhutan stretchable time

In Bhutan, it is okay to come to the office one hour late, but it is not okay to leave office one hour late. It is a fashion to arrive late, do things later and chew doma. What gets my goat the most are our mentality: it’s like the entire country is … [Continue reading]

Ban slaughter house, says hypocrites

Now about the recent announcement of Government planning to open slaughterhouses in Bhutan, we have thousands of comments and hate status’ flooding across Facebook protesting against the idea, because two things happened in Bhutan; internet and … [Continue reading]

Why Tobacco act was a Joke even to a non-smoker

In a continued absurdity that is Bhutanese Politics, a new page was written five years ago, you know when road constructions were completed, schools built, developmental works over and our politicians were left without a job; Tobacco Control Act was … [Continue reading]

Nepal Earthquake: Natural catastrophe, manmade casualties

The world watched in disbelief and grief as news channels, twitter feeds and Facebook flooded with the updates on rising number of deaths and the pictures of the city of Kathmandu, Nepal brought down to rubble by 7.9 Magnitude Earthquake. The Entire … [Continue reading]

Bhutanese public toilet, also known as bush

How many times did you enter a public toilet and find it overflowing with shit, filled with sticks or swarmed with flies? Always. How many public toilets do we have in Bhutan? Very few. What then? We have to run to the mercy of nature to relief … [Continue reading]

Night hunting, a tradition of rape?

Ask what is the full form of BHUTAN to an Eastern boy, he'd instantly reply Boys-Hunting-Use-Torch-At-Night. We all enjoy the good night hunting Jokes, especially the guy that said: "meaw I am a cat." But know this, morons, that concealed within the … [Continue reading]

Rest in Peace Bhutanese singers. Or go mow the lawn.

Bhutanese singers can go work in a bar or go to Australia to mow some white douche's lawn. The truth is, like India, we don't have Music Industry anymore. Nobody buys music, cough...cough except Truck drivers. We'd been hearing Nidup Dorji, … [Continue reading]