Bhutanese public toilet, also known as bush

How many times did you enter a public toilet and find it overflowing with shit, filled with sticks or swarmed with flies? Always. How many public toilets do we have in Bhutan? Very few. What then? We have to run to the mercy of nature to relief ourselves, risking bear attacks or bee stings.
Why not use hotel/restaurant toilets? Have you seen the look on their faces when you order nothing and just use their toilet?

We are seriously too proud of our natural heritage that if anyone asked for a toilet, an obvious answer would be, “dude we have 72.5% of forest, what do you need a toilet for?”
Being raised in a very religious society, with altruistic moral upbringing, we believe in giving back to nature, yeah a huge turd in the shape of a torma, that’s what you give back to the environment. A perfect barter for the life-giving oxygen and free natural resources.

Thimphu City has only two toilets; one which is near RICB building -a residence cum public toilet and another at bus booking.
Which means, if you have diarrhea, you’ll have to decide firstly which toilet is the nearest and secondly, storm towards the toilet 100 meter dash; with a leaky butt while chanting Om Mani Padme Hung so that the gods or whatever deity responsible will somehow miraculously be involved in preventing you from shitting your pants.

We do have graffiti art culture in Bhutan, except, most of our highly talented artists use semen stained toilet walls to convey their message to the masses. Drawings of oddly shaped genitals, obese couple having sex or depressing quotes like “Chimi is a Randi, call her in this number…” 

The Buddha point, a beautiful tourist location once, but with all the after-party fishy activities that has been happening lately, the place could be rechristened adultery Hill, and is filled with tampons, used balloons, and shit.

Sarpang Bazaar, mini Bihar of Bhutan is the infamous place to shit. The moment you enter the slum, you get the stench of rotting feces. Fresh shit, rotting shit, diarrhea; Sarshop shit, Bengali shit, Bihari shit, Lotshampa shit, tourist shit, poor men’s shit, rich men’s shit, name it, smell it. No discrimination -gender, ethnic, whatsoever. As you go behind the town, provided you possess enough courage, and are trained enough in anulom-vilom by Baba Ramdev to control your breath for the entire duration, you’ll be welcomed with an endless display of sel-rotis.

Pelela, Dochula and Yonphula are some good places to shit. With cold, fresh unpolluted air hitting against your butt, a scenic landscape, yes, happiness is a place. To add to the fun, you can perhaps smoke a joint or sip in liquor. If you have constipation, you can hold one to the twigs as you tear your rectum to force out hardened excrement.

But we can use the lack of toilets to our advantage. We can play the revenge game. Do you hate the ruling party? Shit around the Minister’s colony. Are you pissed with the municipal? Shit behind their office. Traffic police’re bothering you? Shit behind RSTA office. Your landlord’s a douche bag? Shit in front of his door.
In fact, if you take a taxi to Lhuentse from Phuentsholing, you could shit all across the length of the country from Chukha to Thimphu to Wangduephodrang to Trongsa to Bumthang to Trashigang to Trashi Yangtse to Mongar. All you need to do is order a plate of puri from Jaigoan and you’re all set to manure the whole country with your eco-friendly shit revenge.

List of places that need toilets:
1. Hospital
2. Police Check Point
3. Towns
4. Schools
5. Banks
6. Your village
7. Your home

And that, dear Bhutanese, is how you bond with Nature.

Comment Mortals

Comments

  1. What I wonder more about is, how often will those toilets would be used and how clean would they be…
    As someone who’s lived in Thimphu all her life, I think the only time i ever used a public toilet was when I was 4 or 5 and I had to go before i crap myself on the bus…
    But none the less, it’s a point to be noted.
    Also all schools already have toilets? Imagine the condition of students if there were no toilets in schools

  2. kencho dorji says:

    that’s how you write dude

  3. Wahidul Chowdhury says:

    Dear Bhutanpundit,

    Your satirical posts are much fun to read. Please, keep them flowing. Love your work.

    Regards,

    Wahidul Chowdhury
    (From Bangladesh)

    P.S. I apologize for the Bengali shit. 😛

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