“The future of our Nation lies in Potato farming.”

Druk Nyamrup Tshogpa, you guys need to chill the heck out, bro. I understand your partial lack of knowledge on Economics or anything for that matter. Okay, two things; your Facebook is a profile instead of a page (dumb, dumb); and secondly, you believe that sheep were the reason our country went into debt? Come on, man. You could have blamed those stupid buffalos, all they do is sit all day long and fart, which is as some reliable source pointed out, the number one cause of ozone depletion. But sheep? Seriously?

Calm down. We’re not on the verge of default, nowhere near Greece, those guys must have been spending on hookers. At least we know we’re not. Or, do we?

Most of the Loans we have taken are Hydropower loans. You see those tunnels they have dug in Punatshangchu? Apparently, they require money. I mean who would have thought it would cost money, right? Okay, come here, put your bong down, let’s talk sense for a while. ‘There is a difference between investment and spending; debt and a Loan.’ I borrow money to buy a cow, now that is an investment. But, I borrow money to purchase a cow and butcher it for beef, now that is spending.

And as usual, great pundits on Facebook decided to weigh in on the debate with their highly knowledgeable status’. Their vision, unblurred. Their knowledge of Economics, unparalleled; in that, it did not parallel with anyone actually having knowledge of economics. Barking on the internet like a mad dog chasing car. To blindly disapprove because you don’t support the political party doesn’t make you a patriot. It makes you a myopic douche-bag with a smartphone. So please get your head out of your ass and try looking out of the Facebook pond you apparently live in, and do some research instead of giving your hypocritical lectures.

So, what’s your point assholes? That we give up development? That we give up Hydro Electric project and go back to potato farming? You’re not one of them that thinks that Isolation was the best thing that happened to our country, are you?

What was even funnier was our Lyonchen lashing out at it immediately, not necessarily to explain things; but obviously to send DNT back to their respective caves. While DNT was apparently trying to gain political mileage, PDP was visibly trying to protect one. You ran your campaign by blaming DPT; it is only reasonable for someone to do the same to you too. I mean this is politics, right? You build your castle on the sand by selling dreams.

Let’s not once again reduce the debate of national concern down to PDP versus DPT argument. This country is not about PDP, DPT, DNT, Aum Neten’s party, and other parties nobody gives a rat’s ass to; this is a country that needs leaders or aspiring leaders with a temperament slightly more than that of Jackson Drukpa.
One Government fails to uphold the decisions of the previous Government. How can a decision that was passed by the National Assembly be dismissed so easily? This only points to the fact that we are nothing more than bitchy teenage girls not liking each other, and as such this Great Nation of our’s remains divided. Politically, at least.

Are we really the kind of Nation that loses its cool over a drop of a hat? It got me thinking; we are such a young and vibrant democracy, why do we still fail so much? Oh, then I realized we are just eight years old, and just like any eight-year toddler, we spend an enormous amount of time being an asshole, screaming for no reason, and eating our own poop.

Pelden Drukpa Gyalo.

Does maternity leave matter if we leave?

Let us all agree, we as a society have given the least importance to our mothers. Expecting women to give life and in return leave her alone to battle for her life is a bit of an overkill. By supporting our mothers we are not just ensuring a better childcare, we are also securing a better, brighter and healthy next generation. Does it hurt giving birth? Of course, it hurts you imbecile, I have had shit that hurt.

Here is what happened when the Government proposed to increase maternity leave, it is as if when the issue of maternity leave was raised, someone from the opposition stood and asked, “wait, wait, whose mother are we talking about? Mine or everyone else’s?”
“The Radhi-Sagteng MP, Jigme Wangchuk, questioned the government on their pledge to extend maternity leave for working mothers…”
Because Radhi-Sagteng MP was born on a Lotus flower, fed by swans and raised by a deer. He grew up in the jungle, taught animal dharma while he traveled the forest on the back of a flying tiger.
Why is it hard for a man to understand this? Don’t we all have mothers? Don’t they have wives who give birth? Or sisters? A girlfriend? Common sense?
Because opposition’s job is to oppose? Even if someone passes a bill called “We should all eat food,” these guys will still come up with some screwed up bullshit about why we shouldn’t eat food. It’s like high school debate competition. We all know the shit we had to endure listening to the retards talk gibberish.

Sangay Khandu had a bit different opinion. “He said giving better job opportunities to women would be more effective than allowing extended maternity leave. He said the job securities of working mothers in private and the corporation should also be taken into account.” What better opportunities? His speech is euphemistic of a coach asking a footballer with a broken leg to come back for practice. “Look Chencho, I know you have a broken limb and probably smashed your right testicle beyond repair, but all I am saying is join back, and we will raise your salary.” What the hell coach? What the hell?
It’s almost like donating a kidney to a patient with piles. “Sure, Pema went in there for a colonoscopy to see if her rectum was doing fine, but thanks to generous MP, now she has three kidneys and unattended hemorrhoid.”
He was right about one thing, though; this will hamper the Job security of the mothers. Such regulations might put women’s livelihood at risk. Private agencies might not hire women at all.

Here is the state of it as of now:

Model Internal Service Rules of an Enterprise
–  “…shall be entitled to 3 months maternity leave on the production of a medical certificate…”
Yeah, because a bulging belly is apparently not enough. Although, they have a valid point here; most of the men in Bhutan have a big belly, they could as well, for instance, take advantage and apply for a maternity leave.
– “In an event of a miscarriage, a maximum leave of 4 weeks shall be granted on the production of a medical certificate from a recognized medical practitioner in Bhutan.” Four weeks? Just to be clear, you realize she just threw a baby out of her vagina right?

 Bhutan Civil Service Rules and Regulations 2010
– Three months leave with basic pay
– Mother with babies up to 12 months will get lunch time from 12 noon to 2 pm

Here is our suggestion:

– Leave should start at least two weeks before the due date.
– Maternity leaves for six months.
– One year of flexi-time.
– Two-hour lunch breaks for up to two years.

Not just the job-goers, women in the rural areas should also be looked into. When it comes to alimony, villagers are complete assholes. It is beyond my empathy that society has so long looked down on women. Failing to support women even with such necessities on the Government’s part legitimizes domestic violence, encourages patriarchy and upholds the sexist society that we have always been. Don’t act like you respect your mother if you for a fact fail to realize that she almost died to give you life; and as a result, fail to support her morally in these matters.

We are capable of empathy; we are capable of perceiving pain that’s why we don’t have to chop off our fingers to learn that it would hurt. This shouldn’t just be civil service rules; rather this should be a bill that will be eventually passed on as an Act. We’re not just talking about servicewomen; we’re talking about mothers in general.

I would like to apologize to all you mothers out there for being an asshole. Dear Bhutanese, let us not be the assholes our ancestors were. What better way to honor the women who brought you into this world than this? Please share, Facebook, tweet and write until we ensure the government does something about it.

Ban slaughter house, says hypocrites

Now about the recent announcement of Government planning to open slaughterhouses in Bhutan, we have thousands of comments and hate status’ flooding across Facebook protesting against the idea, because two things happened in Bhutan; internet and freedom of speech. It is seen okay to slaughter animals as long as it is being carried out someplace far, someplace NOT in Bhutan, because Bhutan is a Buddhist country; as much as we don’t support slaughtering animals as  it is seen as something profane, we don’t at all mind consuming, for meat is one vital source of protein, besides the treat to the taste buds. Double Standards!

What struck me the most was the hypocrisy adorned with the self-righteous mentality in those comments. Show them a picture of chicken biryani and they will say “yummy,” “delicious,” “give me the recipe dude” and all but show them a picture of a slaughter house and they will immediately launch into a diatribe about animal rights, sin and how the meat eaters will be cooked in hot boiling oil in Dorji Ngewa and then be born as a cow and be slaughtered. Ask a Hindu and they will say “but cow is goddess dude, how can you kill your goddess?” Yeah! Because it’s okay to slaughter goats as they are not cows. What a logic.

We talk about freedom of choice and all yet these bigots choose to abide by and shove down upon others’ throats, a particular streak of carefully chosen doctrines and dogmas woven into a set of Dos and Don’ts that the rest of us are suppose to follow like a blind sheep.

And some illiterate idiots will go on even exemplifying Nepal saying “You want Earthquake like Nepal?” Because geographical phenomenon like the plate tectonic movement is mostly initiated by the number of buffalos killed. That leads us to a ground-breaking discovery in the field of geology that the dinosaurs must have slaughtered hundreds of thousands of buffalos that initiated the great Indian tectonic movement which formed the Himalayas some 50 million years ago. I am sure every time these fanatics post stupidity like that; there is a Geography teacher somewhere banging his bemused little head against the wall.

And did you know that we consume more than 5000 cows every year and how do you justify that with your pseudo-religious dumb-wit? Have you seen the line outside the meat shop a day before a month-long meat ban? A month long supply of meat is stored, and then what? Who cares about the ban? What I know from my experience is that Bhutanese will start stealing each other’s goats and chickens but won’t become a vegetarian because of meat ban.

To further throw light on the subject we have called Lopen Phakpa Lama here at Bhutan Pundit studio.
Bhutan Pundit: So, Lopen Phakpa Lama, can you elaborate on the recent frenzy about the whole slaughter house thingy that has stormed the internet?
Phakpa Lama: Tok tok chem chem pai namjay…
Bhutan Pundit:  Whoa, whoa, whoa…hold your horses, sir. Mind your language.

Advantages of having a slaughter house
1. We spend an enormous amount of money in importing meat. Imagine the impact that will bring on our farmers economically.
2. Since we have a very robust regulatory systems like BAFRA, the quality of meat will obviously be well looked into.
3. The spread of diseases will be significantly controlled.
4. Huge economic boost.
5. The outflow of IC can be controlled in millions.
6. God knows the kinds of cancerous substances we’ve been consuming. I fear.
7. I doubt what chemicals they feed the animals or what preservatives they use.

Disadvantages of  having a slaughter house
1. Impending Earthquake.
2. Due to too much consumption of meat, entire population of Bhutan might die of diabetes.

Now, thanks to the thousands of bandwagoning idiots; because we’re now pressured to live up to the expectations of countless morons who dictate how the rest of us should live our lives based on some well-intentioned idiocy coined by some first century sage and to play our part in their contrived narrative to bring closure to the Idea of our choice and freedom.
Congratulations. You won.

Why Tobacco act was a Joke even to a non-smoker

In a continued absurdity that is Bhutanese Politics, a new page was written five years ago, you know when road constructions were completed, schools built, developmental works over and our politicians were left without a job; Tobacco Control Act was born. Okay, after much trepidation I decided to publish this article anyway. Why talk about it now? Because firstly I am an asshole and secondly this is not a news site.

When asked why the obvious answer was that Tobacco imposes danger to both spiritual and social health. It is quite correct till here but hang on… And the religious activists started adding to the debate with their asinine logic of it being a Demon plant grown to doom humanity. Because it is fine if you consume it, but not if you sell it –quiet right interpretation of Guru Rinpoche’s prophecy. And this has only furthered my staunch belief that religion mixed with politics is a recipe for disaster.

Halt, before you think that this blog is running some cancer promoting campaign, I am a non-smoker and I support it as long as its motives are concerned but to force it upon people against their will is extremism and belittling of human rights. Why be like the Muslims that banned pork or the Hindus that banned beef for the supposed ‘collective good?’ Just because other regressive nations dictate how their citizens should lead their respective lives doesn’t mean we should too. I get it; we have a history of self-pride; for the first decade we kept bragging about how great it was for our country to be in isolation, and for the next decade we realized what a stupid idea that was all together and we never brought that subject again into discussion. But we are a country known for its degree of patience and tolerance also.

Many crimes happen because of alcohol; it affects society badly why not ban it? Because we manufacture alcohol, and it would hamper our business? Pork is responsible for epilepsies, Why not ban it? Diabetes kills more than TB, should we ban food? Sex spreads HIV/AIDS, why not cut penises out? If these things sound irrational so should tobacco ban. Problems are looked into, tackled, solved. Not omitted, dismissed or banned. At one point, It became safer and cheaper to do drugs than smoking. Where is the logic? I watched the debates on BBS, after a point it became quite clear to us that politics have somewhat turned into a scene where two matured oxen beat the shit out of each other for the purpose of gaining superiority till the other ox runs away frantically or shits diarrhea.

But despite all the frenzy and uproar it caused, did it do a little good? To answer that we have called your Alcoholic dad here at our Bhutan Pundit studio.

Bhutan Pundit: So, Azha Changzey what do you think are the possible shortcomings of the Tobacco control act as reflected in the lives of smokers like yourself?
Azha Changzey: Jadha laab.
Bhutan Pundit: Thank you Azha Changzey, good digging.
Azha Changzey: Jadha, Jadha.

Anyway, continuing… Need for amendment of a Law itself is a proof of its failure. And while they go about bragging success, mark this, not a single smoker quit smoking, not that I know of; they only paid more for a puff. One thing is true; tobacco act has only paved a broader way for the black market and illegal smuggling. A single packet of cigarette costs as high as 150 bucks. Where is the logic behind “you can smoke one but you can’t buy one?”
An average person smokes a packet a day, multiply that by a month and he spends at least Nu. 4500 a month and Nu. 54,000 a year just on cigarette, unless they manage to smuggle a year’s worth of supply across the checkpoint by hiding it in their underwear or shoving up their ass. Smuggling Tobacco has become a very lucrative low-cost high-output business for the Black marketers. An average smuggler earns, suppose he has around 100 customers a day, about Nu.  54,00,000 a year of un-taxed money.

What should have been done instead?
1. The government should have built smoking houses around the city or ordered Hotels and bars to allocate smoking zone. Yes, public smoking should be strictly prohibited and punished because passive smoking kills.
2. Selling of tobacco products to youths should be banned.
3. Smoking Tobacco use in front of Children should be banned.
4. Run various awareness campaigns.
5. Influencing another person to smoke should be a serious offense or even a felony.

The Act
Many innocent Bhutanese were convicted under the act. It was havoc, faceless Atcharas masquerading across Facebook groups yelling cries for Amendment. And the Government fear mongering the citizens by imposing rules pertaining to personal life is a dangerous trend, especially with things that were very much legal a week ago. In many religious countries, even in Bhutan, we have seen how disastrous it is for the social fabric of the nation.
Somebody should really nominate our politicians to a boiling bucket challenge for the purpose of conscience awakening which will happen in the next paragraph.

Amendment
The Act was amended two years after under which possession limits were increased, and penalties were decreased. Fourth-degree felony- a punishment equivalent of that of sexually assaulting an elderly woman reserved for possession of four times the limit. However, the ban on the sale of tobacco was not lifted. And Prime Minister stated that the amendment was duly because of “pain and the suffering” the act had caused after some 59 arrests. Because you have to experiment with the lives of 59 people just to understand how much you sucked.

The joke
The National Council, today, decided that supply and distribution of tobacco products in the Country will be permitted. The manufacturing of tobacco, however, will remain banned as stated in the Tobacco Control Act. –source: BBS

 

Are MPs and Ministers robbing our country?

Here is my thought on the recent Salary hike for the Ministers and MPs.
I believe the MPs and ministers should be paid high, give them more facilities so that qualified people are willing to quit their jobs and join politics. You see, it’s a risk factor, and it takes a tremendous amount of sacrifice on their part. When politics is not so attractive, no one qualified is willing to take that risk. What? You mean to say that people should quit their better jobs for something that is less attractive and pays less? Why don’t you break up with your girlfriend and start dating an orangutan? They’re running a country, not poultry farms, you hillbilly.

As a result, politics have become a massive slum for the jobless and unqualified, half-brained good for nothing, rejected-from-every-job graduates. No one takes politics seriously anymore. And this is true, you know it, you’ve seen it. Past seven years of democracy has perhaps taught us a thing or two, and in particular, how painful it is for the power to fall in the wrong hands. We’ve directly or indirectly faced the repercussions of our votes. You need experience and wisdom that comes from it to run a country, not your final year mark sheet. I’m not saying older should rule, I’m just saying qualified people should.

We Bhutanese should, instead of shouting like a retard, strive towards a fairer democracy where it doesn’t become a fish market for every dog with a voice to fight for the chicken bone. When everyone has a voice, it becomes noise.

Now you can argue about it, debate with me, shout at me, call me a moron but you have to know one thing that I have a huge penis, and therefore your argument is invalid.